The Team Rocket Movie

Are you prepared for trouble? Well, you better make it double! The biggest summer blockbuster of the year has finally been released! Read it here!

Team Rocket Movie Poster

Just as our favorite villains are contemplating their lives, Giovanni calls to assign them one of their most important assignments yet. After their partner in the mission, Pierce, ridicules their incompetence, Jessie, James, and Meowth decide that it’s time to turn over a new leaf and get serious. But when they learn of world-threatening scheme, this “new and improved” Team Rocket must reassess their lives and core values. Includes the Meowth Short “Meowth and the Treasure of the Ancients.”

This movie is a musical with three songs, including a fan-made “dub” of a previously Japanese-only song, and a completely original song. Check out the Cosmic Quest Youtube channel for a playlist of these songs so you can listen along while you read. Author notes in the story will tell you when to play each song.

In addition, a new background based on the movie poster has been added to the Bonus Content page.

Team Rocket Movie Background

Also, the Pokédex page has been updated accordingly.



Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

Team Rocket Takes Hollywood

Cast (In Order of Appearance)

Mime Jr……………………Mime Jr.
Announcer……………….The Pokémon Narrator
Narator…………………….The Pokémon Narrator
Ash Ketchum……………..Twerp
Mystery Person 1…………???
Mystery Person 2…………???
Mystery Person 3…………???
Jessilina……………………Jessie Jessilina
Iron-Masked………………The Iron-Masked Marauder
Kid 1……………………….Random Kid off the Street
Kid 2……………………….Another Random Kid

Directed By Meowth
Filmed By James
Starring Jessie
Crewed by Wobbuffet
A Team Rocket Production

The persons and events depicted in this film are non-fictitious. Any relation or similarity to fictional characters or events are unintentional and completely coincidental. We swear.


Yuni Oha: NO! This isn’t over yet!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: YUNI OHA!?!?

Meowth: What gives, you should be stuck watching Howard the Duck right about now!

Jessie: That warehouse was escape-proof!

Yuni Oha: It was, but it’s not impervious to break-ins! Thanks to an elite team led by Jordan Osceola (Panther J) and SonicInfinity, my location was discovered and reported to some very good friends of mine. I believe you know them already.

Ash: You’re finished, Team Rocket!

Brenda: This website doesn’t belong to you!

Brock: And how dare you force anyone to watch Howard the Duck? That’s a whole new level of evil!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: *Gulp*

Yuni Oha: Let’s get my website back! Solurtle, use Blast Burn!

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Brenda: Kappaqueous, Hydroshock!

Brock: Blissey, attack with Egg Bomb!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: So much for Hollywood! We’ll get you for this, Yuni Oha! You haven’t seen the last of us! Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!

Team Rocket Will Return in The Team Rocket Movie.

Meow We’re Talking, Episode 2

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

Announcer: Welcome to Meow We’re Talking, the only talk show hosted by a Pokémon!

Meow Were Talking

Announcer: And here’s your host! Meowth!

*Pre-Recorded Applause*

Meowth: Helloooooo internet! Let me just say, it’s great to be back! Did you miss me? Of course you did! Let’s kick this show off! Tonight we have quite a group of guests! It’s all my Pokémon co-stars from the upcoming Team Rocket Movie! Put your paws together for Mime Jr.!


Mime Jr.: Mime!

Meowth: Wobbuffet!

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: Repiv!

Repiv: Repivvvvvvv!

Meowth: Haking!

Haking: Hak hak!

Meowth: Buzzsaw!

Buzzsaw: Buzzzz zzzz zzzz zz zzzzzz!

Meowth: And Ivine!

Ivine: Ivine vine!

*Applause continues*

Meowth: A big welcome to all of you. It’s great to have the entire Pokémon cast here, in one place.

Ivine: Vine ivine!

Meowth: You got that right, buddy! With all of us being Team Rocket Pokémon, I feel we’ve always been close, but shooting a movie together really did bring us closer, wouldn’t you guys agree?

Mime Jr.: Mime mime, mime.

Meowth: Alright, I’ve got to start things off by congratulating Wobbuffet on his earlier Bossy Award for Best Team Rocket Pokémon. I must say, I’m shocked it wasn’t me, but if it wasn’t me, then I guess you deserved it.

Wobbufet: *Holds up trophy* Wobbuffet!

Meowth: No need to gloat. Anyways, since we got the gang together, I figured I’d ask Repiv here a question.

Repiv: Pivvvvv?

Meowth: Okay, nearly 20 years ago, back when you were just a wee Ekans, you went on record claiming that there are only bad people, and no bad Pokémon. You’ve become pretty famous for this assertion. Now that you’re older and wiser, have you finally changed your mind?

Repiv: Repivvvv pivvv repivvvvvvvvv.

Meowth: … … … Realy? You sure about that?

Repiv: *Nods* Pivvvv.

Meowth: *Sighs* Okay, to each his own, I guess. Changing the topic, Mime Jr., I had to do some hard bargaining with James to let you stay up past your bedtime to appear on the show. How are you feeling right now?

Mime Jr.: Mime mime mime!

Meowth: Glad to hear it. Okay, and Haking, I heard you have a pretty big scene in The Team Rocket Movie. Anything you think you could tell the audience about?

Haking: Hak hak! Haking! Hak hak hak! Hak!

Meowth: Excuse me, spoilers! You should be more courteous to our audience, who know nothing about the movie and want it to be a surprise. You just gave the entire plot twist away!

Haking: Haking…

Meowth: Oh well, nothing can be done about it now. Hey, that reminds me. I’ve got a preview of The Team Rocket Movie to show. Hows about we watch that thing? Roll the clip!

Jessie, James, and Meowth stand at one end of a large corridor with metal walls, roof, and floor. Jessie begins to take a step forward, saying, “Well, that device isn’t going to steal itself.”

A stern voice suddenly shouts from behind them, “Stop right there! Don’t move another inch!”

Jessie’s foot freezes an inch from the floor. She and the others turn around to see someone else behind them. With long dark blue hair and a black trench coat, it’s the mysterious Team Rocket Operative Pierce. James says, “No way! It’s Pierce! We haven’t seen you since Unova!”

Meowth adds, “Yeah, you were supposed to help us with some sort of mission in Castelia City dealing with the Meteonite. Say, what ever happened to that mission? Why was it cancelled anyways?”

Jessie asks, “More to the point, what are you doing here, and why do I have to stay like this?” She beckons to her hovering foot.”

Pierce says nothing else and pulls out a spray canister. He begins to to spray its contents around the room. As the mist of the aerosol spreads, it reveals red laser lights criss-crossing across the corridor.

Jessie leaps back once she realizes that her foot was just above one such laser. “Yikes!”

Pierce stows away the canister and states critically, “The Boss sent me here as back up, due to the importance of this mission. This room is protected by security lasers. Make contact with just one of the beams, and you’ll set off the facilities security system.” He looks them over critically. “I expected better from you three.” Without another word, he leaps forward. With a complex series of leaps, flips, rolls, ducks, and weaves, Pierce makes his way to the other side of the corridor, never once touching a beam.

Jessie, James, and Meowth watch with dumbfounded awe. Meowth comments, “This guy is unreal!”

James disagrees, “No, he’s the real deal.”

Jessie adds, “No wonder they call him ‘elite’. He’s amazing…”


Meowth: Meow we’re talking. See, doesn’t that look like a great movie? I was shocked when they told us that Pierce was going to be in the movie. I thought that guy vanished off the face of the Earth.

Wobbuffet: Wobba?

Meowth: Yeah, he’s from Unova. For whatever reason, you weren’t around at the time, so you wouldn’t know him. But trust me, he was one of the more interesting parts of our time in Unova.

Buzzsaw: Buzzzz zzzz zzz zz zzzz!

Meowth: Unova wasn’t that bad.

Mime Jr.: Mime, mime mime.

Meowth: Okay, yeah. It was that bad. But things got better, and now we have our own movie, so it doesn’t matter anymore. Look at that, that’s all the time we have for tonight! Thank you all for watching. If you have any questions for me, or any of my guests, be sure to leave a comment and ask. The Team Rocket Q&A Session is nearly upon us. Bye!

Send Body Fat Blasting Off!

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

We interrupt this program for a message from our sponsor. 

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Rocket Weight Loss

The Bossies

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

The Bossy Awards

Announcer: Welcome to the first annual Bossy Awards! Everyone give a round of applause for our hosts, Jessie, James, and Meowth!


Jessie: *Blows kisses* Thank you! Thank you! This is such an honor for all of you!

James: We are pleased to be hosting the first ever Bossy Award Show!

Meowth: A Bossy is an award of great honor bestowed upon Pokémon media to show excellence in its field. This is the trophy that all other covet.


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Coming Soon to a Computer Near You…

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

Meowth: Without any further ado…

James: Team Rocket proudly presents its crowning achievement…

Jessie: The Team Rocket Movie!

Team Rocket Movie Poster.png

James: No, you’re eyes do not deceive you!

Meowth: This may sound too good to be true, and it is! But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true!

Jessie: After over twenty years of non-stop annual Pokémon movies, Team Rocket will finally take center stage in a movie all their own!

James: This glorious miracle of a movie will focus entirely on the true main characters of the Pokémon franchise! Not a single twerp or electric rodent to be seen!

Meowth: This is the true power of the Cosmic Quest Official Website!

James: Last year we aimed too low.

Jessie: But not this year! This year we will be paid the respect we deserve!

Meowth: With this movie, we will control not only this website, but all of Hollywood!

James: Detective Pikachu? Sonic the Hedgehog? Avengers? Forget them. The Team Rocket Movie will be this year’s greatest hit!

Jessie: And any other year’s too!

Meowth: Unless there’s a sequel!

Jessie and James: Unless there’s a sequel.

Meowth: Stay tuned for more information on the upcoming film.

James: And, before we go, we bare gifts to commemorate this historic announcement. For a limited time only, get your hands on this special limited edition Team Rocket Takes Hollywood desktop background!

Jessie: Available here, or on the Bonus Content page.


Meowth: And while you’re at it, don’t forget to check out the other pages on this website. If they’ve been stamped with the Team Rocket Takeover logo, that means we’ve edited the page to better fit the current management.

James: And if the announcement of our movie sparks any questions in you, be sure to leave a comment asking, so we can give an answer in the Team Rocket Q&A Session later today!

Jessie: And for now, as they say in Hollywood, that’s a wrap!

Guess Who’s Back!

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

Jessie: Prepare for trouble, Hollywood!

James: Make it double, we’re no good!

Jessie: To protect the world from B-grade features!

James: To unite all people in the bleachers!

Jessie: To assert our claim to fortune and fame!

James: To extend our reach and to make a name!

Jessie: Jessie!

James: James!

Jessie: Team Rocket struts the red carpet tonight!

James: Surrender now, we’re taking the spotlight!

Meowth: Meowth, that’s right!

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Mime Jr.: Mime, mime!

Related image

James: You guessed right! Team Rocket is back, and this time we’re taking Hollywood by storm!

Jessie: Welcome to The Team Rocket Takeover II: Team Rocket Takes Hollywood!

Meowth: I already hear the questions in your mind. “What does any of this have to do with Hollywood?” You’ll just have to wait for major announcement, coming within the hour!

James: If you weren’t around this time last year, I suggest you go back into the archives of this website, and check out the first Team Rocket Takeover!

Jessie: We may have lost our control over this website last time, but we’ve learned from our mistakes. Not only will this time be bigger and better than last time, but we’ve taken extra precautions with that twerp writer, Yuni Oha. He won’t be escaping and ruining our plans this time.

Meowth: And this is all good news for you! Team Rocket may be evil, but we’re also kind to our followers. Pledge your allegiance to us, and you will be rewarded greatly!

James: With this website and the Cosmic Quest story under our control, we have become more powerful than ever!

Jessie: And we’ve got a lot planned for you already. In addition to our major announcement, we’ve got a a whole bunch of special Team Rocket events upcoming, as well as the return of the highly popular Team Rocket Q&A Session!

Meowth: Just like last year, you can leave a comment with a question on any post stamped with the Team Rocket Takeover logo, and we’ll answer it!

James: Ask us anything you want, and we’ll answer! Anything!

Jessie: We’ll be hosting the Q&A session in just under 24 hours, so don’t delay!

James: Ask away!