Team Rocket Movie Review

The idea for the Team Rocket movie first came to me nearly a year ago. I was contemplating Team Rocket (of which, as you might know, I am a big fan), and it occurred to me that they really do deserve their own movie. There was just so much potential. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was something I needed to make happen. The earliest concept was simply that I wanted them to “blast off for real” in the climax, and I worked from there. I decided to work in a plot I had initially earmarked for a future multi-episode Team Rocket arc. The plot have would Jessie, James, and Meowth attempting to impress Giovanni, and get serious like in Unova again. This would come with a joke that putting the black uniforms and taking them off works like a switch for Team Rocket, changing their personalities back and forth between silly and serious.

As an aside, I would like to explain that while there was many things I didn’t like about the show during Unova, it was the portrayal of Team Rocket that irked me the most. The entire purpose of Team Rocket was that they were this absurd, larger than life group who self-identify as evil, and yet fail miserably at it. Unova Team Rocket spat in the face of everything they were. The change made to Team Rocket would be equivalent to Ash suddenly deciding he no longer wanted to be a Pokémon Trainer and abandoning Pikachu. Obviously no one would be happy if that happened to Ash, so why should we be happy with Team Rocket’s change?

That being explained, I decided that if I wanted to write a piece that really dug into Team Rocket’s character and identity, I should focus on explaining why Unova’s change was wrong. I decided to focus the movie on demonstrating why a change for the more serious may seem good, but is actually disgraceful. With this concept solidified, the rest of the movie kind of just fell into place. I decided early on that I wanted a “celebrity” Team Rocket member as a main character, and settled on Pierce, as the sudden cancellation of Unova’s Rocket vs. Plasma arc left him as a complete enigma that people wanted to see more of. With that decided, I also realized that the story of the Meteonite was left unfinished and full of potential.

For another aside, for those who don’t know, Unova was originally set to have a pair of episodes called Team Rocket vs. Team Plasma (Part 1 and 2). They would have served as a finale of the Unova’s Team Rocket story arc up to that point. In an unfortunate twist of fate, these episodes were set to air right around the same time a major earthquake hit Japan. Due to the large-scale destruction of a city depicted in the episodes, it was decided it would be in poor taste to air the episodes so close to such a destructive disaster. The episodes were never aired, and later retconned as non-canon. this left several story plots unresolved, most notably, the Meteonite, a mysterious rock collected by Team Rocket in an earlier episode. Due to summaries and previews of these episodes, we know that the Meteonite’s purpose was to act as a replacement for the Sun after a volcanic eruption blocked it. And so The Team Rocket movie became a conclusion of sorts to Team Rocket’s uncompleted mission in Unova.

Another major aspect of the movie was its music. I decided that having musical numbers would perfectly drive in the ridiculous personalities of Team Rocket. In the beginning the only song I really had available to me was Double Trouble. But my brother, being musically inclined, had recently expressed an interest in creating some original music for Sol Version. I realized that it would be great if he could make an original song for the movie, and so, Blasting Off Again was added to the soundtrack. That was going to be it. If I could have a third song, I would, but there just weren’t any options. I could do Team Rocket Forever, but only a small portion of that song was ever translated to English. But late in the development of the movie, I realized that creating a full translation of the song wouldn’t be all that difficult, and so my unofficial fan-dub of Team Rocket Forever became the final addition to the soundtrack.

For those who don’t know, Team Rocket Forever was a song first released for a CD in Japan. Portions of it were later put into the show, leading to the dub to have a semi-translation of a small portion of it (You know us as Team Rocket, and we fight for what is wrong…). Since this portion of the song was translated out of context from the rest of the song, it isn’t so much of a translation as it is a completely separate song set to the same background music. When doing my translation, I incorporated this semi-translation with my own translations and reinterpretations to create what I am referring to as a semi-dub of the song. Perhaps I’ll make a post later explaining how I translated it in detail.

In the end, I was incredibly pleased with the result of the Team Rocket Movie. It might just be one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written. It demonstrated everything I love about Team Rocket, and put it in a great story. It is a piece that demonstrates everything I love about the group, while also further developing their characters.

The Team Rocket Movie

Are you prepared for trouble? Well, you better make it double! The biggest summer blockbuster of the year has finally been released! Read it here!

Team Rocket Movie Poster

Just as our favorite villains are contemplating their lives, Giovanni calls to assign them one of their most important assignments yet. After their partner in the mission, Pierce, ridicules their incompetence, Jessie, James, and Meowth decide that it’s time to turn over a new leaf and get serious. But when they learn of world-threatening scheme, this “new and improved” Team Rocket must reassess their lives and core values. Includes the Meowth Short “Meowth and the Treasure of the Ancients.”

This movie is a musical with three songs, including a fan-made “dub” of a previously Japanese-only song, and a completely original song. Check out the Cosmic Quest Youtube channel for a playlist of these songs so you can listen along while you read. Author notes in the story will tell you when to play each song.

In addition, a new background based on the movie poster has been added to the Bonus Content page.

Team Rocket Movie Background

Also, the Pokédex page has been updated accordingly.

Credits

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Team Rocket Takes Hollywood

Cast (In Order of Appearance)

Jessie……………………..Jessie
James…………………….James
Meowth……………………Meowth
Wobbuffet…………………Wobbuffet
Mime Jr……………………Mime Jr.
Announcer……………….The Pokémon Narrator
“Bystander”………………Jessie
Pierce……………………..Pierce
Batch………………………Botch
Cassidy……………………Cassidy
Matori………………………Matori
Narator…………………….The Pokémon Narrator
???…………………………Giovanni
Ash Ketchum……………..Twerp
Mystery Person 1…………???
Mystery Person 2…………???
Mystery Person 3…………???
Jessilina……………………Jessie Jessilina
Mewtwo……………………Mewtwo
Iron-Masked………………The Iron-Masked Marauder
Giovanni…………………..Giovanni
Kid 1……………………….Random Kid off the Street
Kid 2……………………….Another Random Kid
Repiv………………………Repiv
Haking…………………….Haking
Buzzsaw………………….Buzzsaw
Ivine……………………….Ivine

Directed By Meowth
Filmed By James
Starring Jessie
Crewed by Wobbuffet
A Team Rocket Production

The persons and events depicted in this film are non-fictitious. Any relation or similarity to fictional characters or events are unintentional and completely coincidental. We swear.

THE END

Yuni Oha: NO! This isn’t over yet!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: YUNI OHA!?!?

Meowth: What gives, you should be stuck watching Howard the Duck right about now!

Jessie: That warehouse was escape-proof!

Yuni Oha: It was, but it’s not impervious to break-ins! Thanks to an elite team led by Jordan Osceola (Panther J) and SonicInfinity, my location was discovered and reported to some very good friends of mine. I believe you know them already.

Ash: You’re finished, Team Rocket!

Brenda: This website doesn’t belong to you!

Brock: And how dare you force anyone to watch Howard the Duck? That’s a whole new level of evil!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: *Gulp*

Yuni Oha: Let’s get my website back! Solurtle, use Blast Burn!

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Brenda: Kappaqueous, Hydroshock!

Brock: Blissey, attack with Egg Bomb!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: So much for Hollywood! We’ll get you for this, Yuni Oha! You haven’t seen the last of us! Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!

Team Rocket Will Return in The Team Rocket Movie.

Meow We’re Talking, Episode 2

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Announcer: Welcome to Meow We’re Talking, the only talk show hosted by a Pokémon!

Meow Were Talking

Announcer: And here’s your host! Meowth!

*Pre-Recorded Applause*

Meowth: Helloooooo internet! Let me just say, it’s great to be back! Did you miss me? Of course you did! Let’s kick this show off! Tonight we have quite a group of guests! It’s all my Pokémon co-stars from the upcoming Team Rocket Movie! Put your paws together for Mime Jr.!

*Applause*

Mime Jr.: Mime!

Meowth: Wobbuffet!

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: Repiv!

Repiv: Repivvvvvvv!

Meowth: Haking!

Haking: Hak hak!

Meowth: Buzzsaw!

Buzzsaw: Buzzzz zzzz zzzz zz zzzzzz!

Meowth: And Ivine!

Ivine: Ivine vine!

*Applause continues*

Meowth: A big welcome to all of you. It’s great to have the entire Pokémon cast here, in one place.

Ivine: Vine ivine!

Meowth: You got that right, buddy! With all of us being Team Rocket Pokémon, I feel we’ve always been close, but shooting a movie together really did bring us closer, wouldn’t you guys agree?

Mime Jr.: Mime mime, mime.

Meowth: Alright, I’ve got to start things off by congratulating Wobbuffet on his earlier Bossy Award for Best Team Rocket Pokémon. I must say, I’m shocked it wasn’t me, but if it wasn’t me, then I guess you deserved it.

Wobbufet: *Holds up trophy* Wobbuffet!

Meowth: No need to gloat. Anyways, since we got the gang together, I figured I’d ask Repiv here a question.

Repiv: Pivvvvv?

Meowth: Okay, nearly 20 years ago, back when you were just a wee Ekans, you went on record claiming that there are only bad people, and no bad Pokémon. You’ve become pretty famous for this assertion. Now that you’re older and wiser, have you finally changed your mind?

Repiv: Repivvvv pivvv repivvvvvvvvv.

Meowth: … … … Realy? You sure about that?

Repiv: *Nods* Pivvvv.

Meowth: *Sighs* Okay, to each his own, I guess. Changing the topic, Mime Jr., I had to do some hard bargaining with James to let you stay up past your bedtime to appear on the show. How are you feeling right now?

Mime Jr.: Mime mime mime!

Meowth: Glad to hear it. Okay, and Haking, I heard you have a pretty big scene in The Team Rocket Movie. Anything you think you could tell the audience about?

Haking: Hak hak! Haking! Hak hak hak! Hak!

Meowth: Excuse me, spoilers! You should be more courteous to our audience, who know nothing about the movie and want it to be a surprise. You just gave the entire plot twist away!

Haking: Haking…

Meowth: Oh well, nothing can be done about it now. Hey, that reminds me. I’ve got a preview of The Team Rocket Movie to show. Hows about we watch that thing? Roll the clip!

Jessie, James, and Meowth stand at one end of a large corridor with metal walls, roof, and floor. Jessie begins to take a step forward, saying, “Well, that device isn’t going to steal itself.”

A stern voice suddenly shouts from behind them, “Stop right there! Don’t move another inch!”

Jessie’s foot freezes an inch from the floor. She and the others turn around to see someone else behind them. With long dark blue hair and a black trench coat, it’s the mysterious Team Rocket Operative Pierce. James says, “No way! It’s Pierce! We haven’t seen you since Unova!”

Meowth adds, “Yeah, you were supposed to help us with some sort of mission in Castelia City dealing with the Meteonite. Say, what ever happened to that mission? Why was it cancelled anyways?”

Jessie asks, “More to the point, what are you doing here, and why do I have to stay like this?” She beckons to her hovering foot.”

Pierce says nothing else and pulls out a spray canister. He begins to to spray its contents around the room. As the mist of the aerosol spreads, it reveals red laser lights criss-crossing across the corridor.

Jessie leaps back once she realizes that her foot was just above one such laser. “Yikes!”

Pierce stows away the canister and states critically, “The Boss sent me here as back up, due to the importance of this mission. This room is protected by security lasers. Make contact with just one of the beams, and you’ll set off the facilities security system.” He looks them over critically. “I expected better from you three.” Without another word, he leaps forward. With a complex series of leaps, flips, rolls, ducks, and weaves, Pierce makes his way to the other side of the corridor, never once touching a beam.

Jessie, James, and Meowth watch with dumbfounded awe. Meowth comments, “This guy is unreal!”

James disagrees, “No, he’s the real deal.”

Jessie adds, “No wonder they call him ‘elite’. He’s amazing…”

*Applause*

Meowth: Meow we’re talking. See, doesn’t that look like a great movie? I was shocked when they told us that Pierce was going to be in the movie. I thought that guy vanished off the face of the Earth.

Wobbuffet: Wobba?

Meowth: Yeah, he’s from Unova. For whatever reason, you weren’t around at the time, so you wouldn’t know him. But trust me, he was one of the more interesting parts of our time in Unova.

Buzzsaw: Buzzzz zzzz zzz zz zzzz!

Meowth: Unova wasn’t that bad.

Mime Jr.: Mime, mime mime.

Meowth: Okay, yeah. It was that bad. But things got better, and now we have our own movie, so it doesn’t matter anymore. Look at that, that’s all the time we have for tonight! Thank you all for watching. If you have any questions for me, or any of my guests, be sure to leave a comment and ask. The Team Rocket Q&A Session is nearly upon us. Bye!

The Team Rocket Movie Red Carpet Premiere Event

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

The Team Rocket Movie Red Carpet Premiere

Jessie: We bring you live to the special red carpet premiere event for the Team Rocket movie!

James: The red carpet has been rolled out, the paparazzi is ready, and the VIPs are just about to arrive.

Meowth: Look! Pulling in right now is our first VIP! It’s the Iron-Masked Marauder!

Jessie: Mr. Marauder-

Iron-Masked Marauder: Please, call me Iron-Masked.

Jessie: Of course, Iron-Masked, as a one of the first Team Rocket operatives besides The Boss himself to have a starring role in a movie, what are your thoughts on the The Team Rocket Movie.

Iron-Masked: As you well know, my brief stint in showbiz did me little good. When it was all over, I ended up arrested and worse off than I started. If this is the movie that will finally show to unstoppable force that is Team Rocket, then I’m ready for it.

Meowth: I couldn’t have said it better myself, thanks Iron-Masked, and enjoy the movie!

James: And pulling up now we have one of our co-stars! It’s the enigmatic Pierce!

Meowth: Hey there, buddy! How’s it going?

Pierce: Please don’t call me “buddy.”

Meowth: Fair enough. In the past, you’ve refused to make a statement on your thoughts about The Team Rocket Movie. Care to give us something now that you’re about to see it as a reality?

Pierce: I am not in this for the fame or fortune. I agreed to be in this movie as a way to bolster the name of Team Rocket.

Jessie: And…?

Pierce: And, I’m afraid it will do just the opposite. *Walks away*

James: Hey, is it just me, or did that guy sound exactly the same as the Iron-Masked Marauder?

Meowth: Come to think of it, their voices are extremely similar. Strange…

Jessie: You know what’s even stranger? The next VIPs, or should I say VUPs, Very Unimportant Persons.

Cassidy: Hey, I heard that!

Butch: This is a nice gig you three got yourselves here.

James: *Scoffing* It’s the best gig, Bench.

Butch: Hey, that’s not my-!

Cassidy: In that case, we might just have to take over a website for ourselves some day.

Jessie: Don’t get any ideas, sister. We’re The Bosses number one cyber infiltration unit.

Cassidy: Whatever. Come on, Brent, let’s see how big of a disaster this movie turns out to be.

Butch: Not you too…

Meowth: Hey, look at the massive limo pulling up now!

James: Wow, it keeps going on and on!

Jessie: Such an opulent limo could only house one person!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: It’s The Boss!

James: Boss, how does it feel to know that Team Rocket’s best of the best finally has a starring role in a movie?

Giovanni: I suppose I am proud. After Mewtwo stole my spotlight in Mewtwo Strike Back, I never thought Team Rocket would get another real chance. But Pierce has made me proud.

Meowth: Thank you, thank you. You’re too-

Jessie, James, and Meowth: PIERCE!?!?

James: What do you mean by Pierce?

Giovanni: The question was how do I feel about my top operative starring in a movie, right? That’s Pierce.

Jessie, James, and Meowth: Right…

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Jessie: Well, that’s it for tonight. The Team Rocket Movie won’t be shown publicly for a little while longer, but stay tuned for more information.

Meowth: And don’t forget to ask any questions you may have for our Team Rocket Q&A Session, coming soon.

James: This has been Team Rocket, reporting live outside the world-premiere of The Team Rocket Movie, thanks for watching.

The Blast Off

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

The blast Off

Jessie: This is The Blast Off, your first and only stop for all the Team Rocket news, recent happenings, and gossip. I’m your host, the beautiful Jessie, and today we’ve got a lot of juicy gossip.

First off, ever since the announcement of the upcoming Team Rocket Movie, dedicated Team Rocket fans have been abuzz over the inclusion of the mysterious Rocket operative, Pierce.  We went on scene to try to get his thoughts on things

*Knocks on Door*

Jessie: Pierce, the fans are going crazy for you. What do you have to say?

Pierce: No comment. Leave me alone.

Jessie: Come on, I insist. You must have something to say about your major role in the upcoming movie. The fans want to know.

*Slams Door*

Jessie: Okay, that one didn’t go so well. Pierce isn’t the only member of Team Rocket we interviewed. In order to rub it in their faces get their opinion on the movie, we interviewed Botch and Cassidy.

Butch: How many times do I have to tell you! My name is Butch!

Jessie: Sure, Ben, whatever. Please tell us, what are your thoughts on the Team Rocket Movie?

Cassidy: An absolute insult to everything Team Rocket stands for.

Jessie: Excuse me!?

Cassidy: Team Rocket is a proud organization, and somehow Hollywood is choosing to represent us with our esteemed group with those three losers? Team Rocket will never live this down.

Jessie: How dare you!?!? AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Jessie: Sorry about that, we’re back. Anyways, today in the completely unrelated Rocket Headlines, the Team Rocket paparazzi managed to snap this photo of Cassidy at a local amusement park.

Image result for cassidy pokemon

Jessie: It would seem that Team Rocket wasn’t paying enough, and that Cassidy had to get a part-time job as an amusement park mascot. How embarrassing. I know one thing, I would never be caught dead in such a ridiculous costume.

*Door Slams Open*

Cassidy: JESSIE!!! That photo was taken out of context!

Jessie: A picture paints a thousand words, and I’m simply translating those words.

Cassidy: More like mistranslating! I was in that outfit as part of a scheme to steal Pokémon!

Jessie: As if. Just be honest, we’ve got countless viewers watching live, and they all know the truth already.

Cassidy: JESSIE!!!

*CRASH*

Jessie: Sorry about the interruption, we’re back. Continuing the Rocket Headlines, our next photo was taken in our very own Boss’ office, featuring none other than his secretary, Matori.

Matori Gossip.png

Jessie: It seems that little miss four-eyes has let down The Boss yet again. Look at how annoyed he looks with her, and she’s on cleaning duty. Guess she’s getting what she deserves.

*Door Slams Open*

Matori: JESSIE!!!

Jessie: *Sighs* Here we go again…

Matori: That image is clearly photoshoped!

Jessie: Ha! That’s where you’re wrong! I don’t have enough money to afford Photo Shop!

Matori: Doesn’t matter, it’s still clearly faked! You can even see the stock photo watermarks! This is libel!

Jessie: Ha! Wrong again! Libel is written. This is clearly slander!

Matori: JESSIE!!!

*CRASH*

Jessie: Well, that’s all we have for today. Hope you enjoyed today’s Team Rocket gossip. If you want the scoop on anymore gossip, be sure to leave a comment to be answered in today’s Team Rocket Q&A Session.

Coming Soon to a Computer Near You…

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Meowth: Without any further ado…

James: Team Rocket proudly presents its crowning achievement…

Jessie: The Team Rocket Movie!

Team Rocket Movie Poster.png

James: No, you’re eyes do not deceive you!

Meowth: This may sound too good to be true, and it is! But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true!

Jessie: After over twenty years of non-stop annual Pokémon movies, Team Rocket will finally take center stage in a movie all their own!

James: This glorious miracle of a movie will focus entirely on the true main characters of the Pokémon franchise! Not a single twerp or electric rodent to be seen!

Meowth: This is the true power of the Cosmic Quest Official Website!

James: Last year we aimed too low.

Jessie: But not this year! This year we will be paid the respect we deserve!

Meowth: With this movie, we will control not only this website, but all of Hollywood!

James: Detective Pikachu? Sonic the Hedgehog? Avengers? Forget them. The Team Rocket Movie will be this year’s greatest hit!

Jessie: And any other year’s too!

Meowth: Unless there’s a sequel!

Jessie and James: Unless there’s a sequel.

Meowth: Stay tuned for more information on the upcoming film.

James: And, before we go, we bare gifts to commemorate this historic announcement. For a limited time only, get your hands on this special limited edition Team Rocket Takes Hollywood desktop background!

Jessie: Available here, or on the Bonus Content page.

[IMAGE REDACTED]

Meowth: And while you’re at it, don’t forget to check out the other pages on this website. If they’ve been stamped with the Team Rocket Takeover logo, that means we’ve edited the page to better fit the current management.

James: And if the announcement of our movie sparks any questions in you, be sure to leave a comment asking, so we can give an answer in the Team Rocket Q&A Session later today!

Jessie: And for now, as they say in Hollywood, that’s a wrap!