Live Streaming the Defeat of Calamity Ganon with a Tree Branch

Team Rocket Takeover III Stamp Slanted

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet! [Sets up live stream on Jessie’s Breath of the Wild account]

Defeating Calamity Ganon With Only a Tree Branch

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

[Jessie, James, and Meowth suddenly appear after being kidnapped]

Jessie: Hey! Get off my account! I was already lost as it was!

Wobbuffet: Wobbbuffet!

Meowth: [With utter disbelief] Um… Jessie… you might want to see what Wobbuffet just did…

Jessie: [Looks and exclaims with shock] What!? You just beat the final boss using only a stick!?

James: I can’t believe we missed that! I didn’t even know that was possible!

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Team Rocket Plays Pokémon

Team Rocket Takeover III Stamp Slanted

Meowth: Remember how a couple years ago there was that whole “Twitch Plays Pokémon” thing that was all the rage? Well, Team Rocket decided to replicate it for themselves, to see what would happen. This is Team Rocket Plays Pokémon. (Click the image for a better view.)

rocket plays pokemon (1)

Meowth: As you can imagine, getting a bunch of Team Rocket members (and a few invading twerps) to all play a Pokémon game at the same time led to a very hectic situation. Want to know more about this social experiment? Just ask in a comment, and we’ll answer during our Team Rocket Q&A Session, later tonight.

Favorite Games

Team Rocket Takeover III Stamp Slanted

Jessie: With our video game theme going on, I’m sure you’re all dying to know what our favorite video games are, so we decided to oblige and make this post to discuss our favorite games.

James: Just to be clear, for the sake of fairness, we are not counting Pokémon Yellow Version, Pokémon Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee, and Super Smash Bros Ultimate, as video games that feature us are the clear winners for best games of all time.

Meowth: I resent that decision, but I will abide by it nevertheless.

James: I’ll go first. My favorite video game series is Sonic the Hedgehog. I was introduced to the series through the classic games, and grew to love it through the Adventure-era games. And although the series has been on shaky grounds as of late, I still keep my faith in the series. I know it can be better, it just needs to try harder.

Jessie: As for me, my favorite series is Kirby. That pink puffball is one of the absolute cutest things I’ve ever seen. But, despite his cuteness, he’s super powerful and steals the very power of his opponents. He’s a lot like me in those ways, cute, powerful, and thieving.

James: Okay, what’s you’re favorite game or series, Meowth?

Meowth: [Grins smugly] Pokémon Puzzle League.

Jessie: Huh? What’s that?

Meowth: A Pokémon puzzle game. Not only do I like puzzle games, but this was the first video game outside of Yellow to feature yours truly.

Jessie: Hey! No fair! We agreed to pick games without us in them!

James: Yeah! Pick another!

Meowth: You sure about that? As I recall, you only said we couldn’t pick Yellow, Let’s Go, or Smash Bros. Puzzle League is none of those.

Jessie: That’s cheating! Pick again! Pick another game!

Meowth: [Crosses arms] Fine. In that case, I’ll go with Pokémon Zany Cards.

James: Pokémon what cards?

Meowth: Zany Cards. It was a virtual card game for the Pokémon-exclusive handheld system, the Pokémon Mini. You know what the best part about that game was? It main character was me. I was right there on the cover art.

Jessie and James: [With annoyance] Meowth…

Meowth: Fine. You want me to pick a different game? I’ll pick a different game. How about Pokémon: Catch the Numbers for the Sega Pico.

James: I’ve never heard of it. Let me guess, it features… Wait, did you say Sega? As in the company that publishes Sonic?

Meowth: Yes, it does feature me, and yes, I did say Sega. This game was the first in a series of educational Pokémon games published for the Sega Pico, making them the only Pokémon games to not be on Nintendo-published hardware.

Jessie: I give up…

James: You probably have more obscure games with us in that we’ve never heard of before, don’t you.

Meowth: I could do this all day.

James: Okay. I give up too. You win. [Sighs] Anyways, as an added bonus, we also decided to try to predict the favorite video games of other Team Rocket members and associates.

Jessie: For example, we’re willing to bet that The Boss’ favorite game is none other than Pokémon Conquest, the game that allows him to simulate taking control over the world.

James: And then there’s Bench and Cassidy. We know from past experience that their favorite game is Super Mario Maker. Just like in real life, they enjoy creating over-complicated ways to trick and trap players within their levels. Not going to lie, that actually sounds pretty fun. Might have to give it a try some day.

Jessie: The four-eyed stooge, Matori, is so obsessed with micromanaging, that I bet the only game she plays is The Sims.

Meowth: Pierce, on the other hand, would want a game that he can think long and hard about. He wants a game that he can be pulled into. I’m pegging him as a Breath of the Wild fan.

Jessie: Ugg… Breath of the Wild. I tried playing, but immediately got lost. How am I supposed to find anything in such a massive world?

James: Oh, look at this, we’ve been requested to also predict Mewtwo’s favorite game.

Jessie: Mewtwo? What in the world would that be?

Meowth: Well, we know from last year that he likes Smash Bros.

James: But is that his favorite series?

Jessie: [Laughs] I bet his favorite game is something totally cutesy, like Pikmin or Yoshi’s Woolly World!

Mewtwo: [Appears suddenly] No, you fools!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: [Leap back in shock and terror]

James: [Gathers confidence] Well… um… what is your favorite game then…?

Mewtwo: There is only one game series outside of Pokémon and Smash Bros that is worthy of being my favorite. Animal Crossing.

Jessie: … … …

James: … … …

Meowth: … … …

Jessie: Did he just say Animal Crossing is his favorite game…?

Mewtwo: [With sudden anger] Are you deaf? That is what I said! In no other game can one express their powers over the world so clearly. And in the newest title, New Horizons, you can ascend to true godhood and have complete control over the town. Now that I have fixed your misconceptions, my time is wasted here. [Teleports away]

Jessie: Well… I wasn’t wrong about it being something cutesy…

James: I think that encounter left me with more questions than answers.

Meowth: Well, if there are questions, then they could be asked for our upcoming Team Rocket Q&A Session

Credits

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

Team Rocket Takes Hollywood

Cast (In Order of Appearance)

Jessie……………………..Jessie
James…………………….James
Meowth……………………Meowth
Wobbuffet…………………Wobbuffet
Mime Jr……………………Mime Jr.
Announcer……………….The Pokémon Narrator
“Bystander”………………Jessie
Pierce……………………..Pierce
Batch………………………Botch
Cassidy……………………Cassidy
Matori………………………Matori
Narator…………………….The Pokémon Narrator
???…………………………Giovanni
Ash Ketchum……………..Twerp
Mystery Person 1…………???
Mystery Person 2…………???
Mystery Person 3…………???
Jessilina……………………Jessie Jessilina
Mewtwo……………………Mewtwo
Iron-Masked………………The Iron-Masked Marauder
Giovanni…………………..Giovanni
Kid 1……………………….Random Kid off the Street
Kid 2……………………….Another Random Kid
Repiv………………………Repiv
Haking…………………….Haking
Buzzsaw………………….Buzzsaw
Ivine……………………….Ivine

Directed By Meowth
Filmed By James
Starring Jessie
Crewed by Wobbuffet
A Team Rocket Production

The persons and events depicted in this film are non-fictitious. Any relation or similarity to fictional characters or events are unintentional and completely coincidental. We swear.

THE END

Yuni Oha: NO! This isn’t over yet!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: YUNI OHA!?!?

Meowth: What gives, you should be stuck watching Howard the Duck right about now!

Jessie: That warehouse was escape-proof!

Yuni Oha: It was, but it’s not impervious to break-ins! Thanks to an elite team led by Jordan Osceola (Panther J) and SonicInfinity, my location was discovered and reported to some very good friends of mine. I believe you know them already.

Ash: You’re finished, Team Rocket!

Brenda: This website doesn’t belong to you!

Brock: And how dare you force anyone to watch Howard the Duck? That’s a whole new level of evil!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: *Gulp*

Yuni Oha: Let’s get my website back! Solurtle, use Blast Burn!

Ash: Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!

Brenda: Kappaqueous, Hydroshock!

Brock: Blissey, attack with Egg Bomb!

Jessie, James, and Meowth: So much for Hollywood! We’ll get you for this, Yuni Oha! You haven’t seen the last of us! Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!

Team Rocket Will Return in The Team Rocket Movie.

The Blast Off

Team Rocket Takeover II Stamp Tilted

The blast Off

Jessie: This is The Blast Off, your first and only stop for all the Team Rocket news, recent happenings, and gossip. I’m your host, the beautiful Jessie, and today we’ve got a lot of juicy gossip.

First off, ever since the announcement of the upcoming Team Rocket Movie, dedicated Team Rocket fans have been abuzz over the inclusion of the mysterious Rocket operative, Pierce.  We went on scene to try to get his thoughts on things

*Knocks on Door*

Jessie: Pierce, the fans are going crazy for you. What do you have to say?

Pierce: No comment. Leave me alone.

Jessie: Come on, I insist. You must have something to say about your major role in the upcoming movie. The fans want to know.

*Slams Door*

Jessie: Okay, that one didn’t go so well. Pierce isn’t the only member of Team Rocket we interviewed. In order to rub it in their faces get their opinion on the movie, we interviewed Botch and Cassidy.

Butch: How many times do I have to tell you! My name is Butch!

Jessie: Sure, Ben, whatever. Please tell us, what are your thoughts on the Team Rocket Movie?

Cassidy: An absolute insult to everything Team Rocket stands for.

Jessie: Excuse me!?

Cassidy: Team Rocket is a proud organization, and somehow Hollywood is choosing to represent us with our esteemed group with those three losers? Team Rocket will never live this down.

Jessie: How dare you!?!? AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Jessie: Sorry about that, we’re back. Anyways, today in the completely unrelated Rocket Headlines, the Team Rocket paparazzi managed to snap this photo of Cassidy at a local amusement park.

Image result for cassidy pokemon

Jessie: It would seem that Team Rocket wasn’t paying enough, and that Cassidy had to get a part-time job as an amusement park mascot. How embarrassing. I know one thing, I would never be caught dead in such a ridiculous costume.

*Door Slams Open*

Cassidy: JESSIE!!! That photo was taken out of context!

Jessie: A picture paints a thousand words, and I’m simply translating those words.

Cassidy: More like mistranslating! I was in that outfit as part of a scheme to steal Pokémon!

Jessie: As if. Just be honest, we’ve got countless viewers watching live, and they all know the truth already.

Cassidy: JESSIE!!!

*CRASH*

Jessie: Sorry about the interruption, we’re back. Continuing the Rocket Headlines, our next photo was taken in our very own Boss’ office, featuring none other than his secretary, Matori.

Matori Gossip.png

Jessie: It seems that little miss four-eyes has let down The Boss yet again. Look at how annoyed he looks with her, and she’s on cleaning duty. Guess she’s getting what she deserves.

*Door Slams Open*

Matori: JESSIE!!!

Jessie: *Sighs* Here we go again…

Matori: That image is clearly photoshoped!

Jessie: Ha! That’s where you’re wrong! I don’t have enough money to afford Photo Shop!

Matori: Doesn’t matter, it’s still clearly faked! You can even see the stock photo watermarks! This is libel!

Jessie: Ha! Wrong again! Libel is written. This is clearly slander!

Matori: JESSIE!!!

*CRASH*

Jessie: Well, that’s all we have for today. Hope you enjoyed today’s Team Rocket gossip. If you want the scoop on anymore gossip, be sure to leave a comment to be answered in today’s Team Rocket Q&A Session.