Meow We’re Talking

Team Rocket Takeover Stamp Slanted

Announcer: Welcome to Meow We’re Talking, the only talk show hosted by a Pokémon! And here’s your host, Meowth!

*Pre-Recorded Applause*

Meowth: Good evening to all you readers out there. Tonight’s show promises to be a zinger. Our first guest needs no introduction. It’s the blue blob you all love to hate, Wobbuffet!


Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: Hey Wobbuffet, glad you could make it out tonight.

Wobbuffet: Wobba wobba.

Meowth: Ha, ha, ha! That’s right, me too. So, Wobbuffet, you and I have been a part of Team Rocket for a very long time. In fact, we’re the two Pokémon that have been on for the longest. We’ve outlasted all the rest.

Wobbuffet: Wobba wobba wobbuffet.

Meowth: Yeah, I miss that guy too. He was one of the good ones. Anyways, being on Team Rocket for such a long time tends to give you a certain celebrity status, if you know what I mean. So, I’m sure that our audience wants to know, how has your life changed since being a part of Team Rocket.

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet! Wobba, wobba, wobba. Wobbuffet, wobba. Wobbuffet!

Meowth: I see. Some very interesting insight, very valuable too. I like to think that everything in my life before Team Rocket was just a prologue for my real life. I mean, sure, I may have became the world’s first talking Meowth, but that didn’t mean squat until I joined up with Team Rocket.

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: I couldn’t have said it better, pal of mine. Now, anyways, I’m sure most of you know that Wobbuffet recently stared in his very own episode of Cosmic Quest. How about we take a look at a clip from it?

On Screen: Wobbuffet is cooking against the chef L’orange on the TV show Sliced. The host declares, “Today you’ll be cooking with…” both chefs open their grab bag and pull out each ingredient as the host names them, “…fresh Moomoo Milk, Durin Berries, Old Gateau, and Leftovers.” Upon pulling the old apple core that is the Leftovers from the bag, Chef L’orange grimaces.

In a cut-away interview, L’orange says with annoyance, “Leftovers? I would not give this item to my own Pokémon. How am I supposed to cook with it?”

Back to the normal show, the host announces, “Alright Chefs, you have twenty minutes to make a dessert to wow our judges and prove that you should be the Sliced Champion. Ready, begin!” Both chefs spring into action.

L’orange runs into the pantry and begins to pull out various items. A voice-over from him explains, “I will be making my world-famous Soufflé L’orange, but instead of the normal berries I use in it, I’ll substitute them for Durin Berries. This fresh Moomoo Milk should help give it the perfect consistency. And I can crumble the Old Gateau over it to make a crust.” He cuts into a Durin Berry and immediately winces and holds his nose as he smells it.

The host says to the panel of three judges, “So, Durin Berries may not be the most pleasant ingredient to work with.”

One judge nods. “Yeah, those things are infamous for how much they reek. The flavor is also a bit of an acquired taste. The chefs will have to be very careful of how they handle it.”

Another judge points out, “And that’s not even the hardest ingredient we gave them. I couldn’t believe it when I saw them pull the Leftovers out of the bag. It is quite literally a discarded apple core with little to no food value. Pokémon are able to use it to heal in battle, but I’m not sure it could actually be eaten.”

Wobbuffet appears completely unfazed by the smell of the berries. It dutifully works away on its dessert.

In another cut-away interview, L’orange has been asked what he thinks of Wobbuffet. “That Pokémon is of no concern to me. I have trained all my life, and it became a chef yesterday. There is no way I could possibly lose to it.”

In a cut-away for Wobbuffet, Wobbuffet simply declares, “Wobbuffet!”

The host warns, “Two minutes left, chefs! You’d better start putting those finishing touches on your plates!”

The cooking continues at a feverish pace. Chef L’orange shaves bits of apple of the Leftovers and sprinkles it over his perfectly risen soufflé. Wobbuffet finishes plating what looks to be a plate of cookies and ice cream. It carefully drizzles an apple-Durin compote over it.

“And that’s time! Bring your dishes up to the judges, and we’ll see who is today’s champion.”

Meowth: Wah ha ha! Who knew you could cook! That one certainly took me by surprise.

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: Well, maybe you should cook for us sometime. I’d eat those cookies and ice cream any day. And so, not only were you able to cook, but you actually beat that lug, L’orange and became the Sliced Champion. Hey, isn’t there a cash prize for that? What happened to the money?

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: That’s a crime shame right there. Oh well, what are you going to do? Now, I think the best part about that episode is that you winning Sliced wasn’t even the craziest part. You ended up going into outer space, and then the Moon. If a Meowth has nine lives, this episode made it seems like you lived ten.

Wobbuffet: Wobba wobba, wobbuffet.

Meowth: Meow we’re talking. So, is there anything else we should all know about you?

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet! Wobba wobba. Wobba, wobbuffet, wobba. Wobbuffet!

Meowth: I’m shocked. Who would have thunk. Even though I’ve known you for so long, I feel like I’m looking at a completely different Wobbuffet. You heard it here first, folks! Will you look at the time! We’re all out of it! I’d like to thank you once again for coming out tonight, Wobbuffet, it was a pleasure. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we’re done?

Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet!

Meowth: Absolutely. And also, all you readers, don’t forget that you can ask any questions you’d like to our guest, or even me, in our Team Rocket Q and A session being held later tonight. Just leave a comment asking the questions, and we’ll answer. Thank you, and good night!