Jessie: This is The Blast Off, your first and only stop for all the Team Rocket news, recent happenings, and gossip. I’m your host, the beautiful Jessie, and today we’ve got a lot of juicy gossip.
First off, ever since the announcement of the upcoming Team Rocket Movie, dedicated Team Rocket fans have been abuzz over the inclusion of the mysterious Rocket operative, Pierce. We went on scene to try to get his thoughts on things
*Knocks on Door*
Jessie: Pierce, the fans are going crazy for you. What do you have to say?
Pierce: No comment. Leave me alone.
Jessie: Come on, I insist. You must have something to say about your major role in the upcoming movie. The fans want to know.
Jessie: Okay, that one didn’t go so well. Pierce isn’t the only member of Team Rocket we interviewed. In order to
rub it in their faces get their opinion on the movie, we interviewed Botch and Cassidy.
Butch: How many times do I have to tell you! My name is Butch!
Jessie: Sure, Ben, whatever. Please tell us, what are your thoughts on the Team Rocket Movie?
Cassidy: An absolute insult to everything Team Rocket stands for.
Jessie: Excuse me!?
Cassidy: Team Rocket is a proud organization, and somehow Hollywood is choosing to represent us with our esteemed group with those three losers? Team Rocket will never live this down.
Jessie: How dare you!?!? AAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Jessie: Sorry about that, we’re back. Anyways, today in the completely unrelated Rocket Headlines, the Team Rocket paparazzi managed to snap this photo of Cassidy at a local amusement park.
Jessie: It would seem that Team Rocket wasn’t paying enough, and that Cassidy had to get a part-time job as an amusement park mascot. How embarrassing. I know one thing, I would never be caught dead in such a ridiculous costume.
*Door Slams Open*
Cassidy: JESSIE!!! That photo was taken out of context!
Jessie: A picture paints a thousand words, and I’m simply translating those words.
Cassidy: More like mistranslating! I was in that outfit as part of a scheme to steal Pokémon!
Jessie: As if. Just be honest, we’ve got countless viewers watching live, and they all know the truth already.
Jessie: Sorry about the interruption, we’re back. Continuing the Rocket Headlines, our next photo was taken in our very own Boss’ office, featuring none other than his secretary, Matori.
Jessie: It seems that little miss four-eyes has let down The Boss yet again. Look at how annoyed he looks with her, and she’s on cleaning duty. Guess she’s getting what she deserves.
*Door Slams Open*
Jessie: *Sighs* Here we go again…
Matori: That image is clearly photoshoped!
Jessie: Ha! That’s where you’re wrong! I don’t have enough money to afford Photo Shop!
Matori: Doesn’t matter, it’s still clearly faked! You can even see the stock photo watermarks! This is libel!
Jessie: Ha! Wrong again! Libel is written. This is clearly slander!
Jessie: Well, that’s all we have for today. Hope you enjoyed today’s Team Rocket gossip. If you want the scoop on anymore gossip, be sure to leave a comment to be answered in today’s Team Rocket Q&A Session.