Meowth: Can I get a drum roll please?
Jessie and James: It’s time for our main event! The Team Rocket Q&A Session!
Meowth: You guys have been posting questions all day, and now it’s our turn to answer them!
James: You’re about to get to know us on a whole new level!
Jessie: Let’s start things off with a question from BTH777. They ask, “Aside from the Team Rocket Movie, which Pokémon movie is your guys’s favorite?”
James: Just to be clear, this question was asked before either my Rocket Reviews episode or the Bossies aired. For reasons stated there, I think we can all agree that Mewtwo Strikes back is our favorite movie.
Meowth and Jessie: Agreed.
James: Next question! PokeMan96 asks, “How do you guys afford to make so many mechas?”
Meowth: You saw the post about us selling mechas? It’s
scams- I mean, it’s marketing strategies like that which keep us funded.
Jessie: Of course, any extra cash we have goes into my wardrobe shopping.
James: Leaving us with no money left over…
Meowth: Okay, a user who was later identified as MajorBrony95 asked tree questions at once.
James: Let’s take them one at a time.
Meowth: Agreed. First they ask, “We know James collects bottle caps as a hobby, but do Jessie or Meowth have any hobbies?”
Jessie: Does being gorgeous count as a hobby?
James: Somehow, I doubt it.
Jessie: Hmm… Okay, what about being beautiful?
James: Yeah, no.
Meowth: Personally, I don’t have any hobbies. No time to waste on them
Jessie and James: Oh really?
James: Then what do you call all that time you spend playing with yarn?
Meowth: *Gulp* I… don’t… know… what you’re talking about…
Jessie: Then what’s this picture?
Meowth: *Groans* Okay, fine. I like to play with balls of yarn. Happy? To change the topic, MajorBrony now asks, “Also, since you guys love food, do you have a favorite one?”
Jessie: Hmm… purely because of nostalgic memories, I’d have to say snow pudding. I need to have another snowgasboard someday.
Meowth: Give me anything with fish. What about you, James?
James: Hmm… well, there was this one dish my personal chef used to make. It was coq au vin with potatoes au gratin and julienned carrots. It was divine.
Jessie and Meowth: *Salivate*
James: What, are you telling me you never had anything like that?
Meowth: Instead of giving the obvious answer, I’m just going to read MajorBrony’s last question. “Finally, what happens to the Pokémon you guys USED to have (Carnivine, Frillish, Woobat, etc.) that go back to HQ after you move to another region?”
Jessie: I suppose it really depends on what the circumstances are at the time.
James: After Sinnoh, when the Boss told us we couldn’t bring any non-Unova-native Pokémon with us, I reluctantly left Mime Jr. and Carnevine with Nanny and Pop Pop. But after both Unova and Kalos we had to give all the Pokémon we captured to the Boss in order to not show up empty-hand.
Jessie: And as for what happened to our Alola Pokémon, that’s currently classified as top-secret. Check back in about half a year and it will be declassified.
James: Okay, on to a new reader’s question. Dark_Ninja asks, “Jessie, James, and Meowth, what would each of you say was your most valuable life experience before joining Team Rocket? What allowed you to become who you are today?”
Meowth: I’ll go first. As a stray alley Meowth that was part of a gang, I had to learn the seemingly contradictory lessons that everyone is out for themselves, and that you can’t do anything without people you trust backing you up. Ever since then, that’s been my way of living.
James: Oh, that’s a good answer. For me, I’d have to say that my parents forcing me into social setting full rules was that I never want to obey rules. Life is better when you just do what you want, and don’t worry about social constraints that others put on you.
Meowth: *Claps* That’s great. And you, Jess?
Jessie: Hmm… I’d have to say that my time as an idol-in-training taught me how to be gorgeous.
James and Meowth: … … …
James: Really…? That’s what you’re going with?
Jessie: I don’t see the problem. Anyways, here’s another question from Dark_Ninja. “Jessie, James, and Meowth, what are your favorite non-Pokemon movies?”
James: Ooh, that’s a good one. Let’s see… My favorite movie would have to be Star Wars! As a kid, I owned all the collectibles! Action figures, trading cards, construction sets, you name it, I had it.
Jessie: I’ll always remember when I first saw Cinderella. The fact that a poor, orphaned girl could become a beautiful princess is what I based my entire life on.
Meowth: So, you know how the movie that inspired me to go to Hollywood was That Darn Meowth? Well, it turns out it was in turn inspired by a movie called That Darn Cat. After watching it, I decided that that had to be my favorite movie.
James: Alright, let’s see what the next question is. hollo-c asks, “So how come you guys acted like you didn’t know each other when you were assigned to the same team?”
Jessie: A fair question. I’ve always wondered that myself. It’s as if our lives consist of two completely different stories that were never meant to be brought together into one, despite the fact that they logically should be.
James: Don’t you remember Jessie, because of the fight we had in the Bike Gang, you and I hated each other enough to pretend like we didn’t even know who the other one was.
Jessie: Right! That totally makes sense. Duh.
Meowth: Next question! AshTheMaster-
Jessie: Hey, I recognize that name!
James: Yeah, we teased him for having such a twerpish name last year!
Jessie: Apparently he hasn’t learned his lesson in the past year.
Meowth: Anyways, the twerp-worshiper asked, “Hey James, aside from Chimecho and Growlie, which of your Pokémon do you miss the most?”
James: Ouch, that’s a hard one. Victreebel… Cacnea… Carnevine… Inkay… Mareanie… I had such a special bond with each and every one of them. How could I pick just one?
Meowth: Just pick one and be done with it.
James: I suppose I would have to say Victreebel. Unlike all my other Pokémon, we didn’t part on our terms. Instead, someone forced me to give it up. If you’re reading this Victreebel, I’m thinking of you! *Cries*
Jessie: Okay then… well, moving on, our next question comes from AaronAmerican, who asks, “Do you have a mech that’s water, fire, and shock proof, and is tough armored? And do you at least know if one of them can transform into a vehicle for a Quick Getaway? I’d buy two if you do!”
Meowth: Have you seen our mechs in action? We can get you a mech to do just about anything! Just send your cash by mail to us, and we’ll ship your mechs once we get it!
James: As for AaronAmerican’s next question, he asks, “How long have you guys been working as Team Rocket operatives, and how many jobs did successfully pull off before you met As-I mean the Twerps?”
Jessie: I don’t remember exactly, but if I had to guess, I’d say about a year, maybe two.
Meowth: Yeah, that sounds right.
James: As for successful jobs, we had a 100% success rate back in those days. Seeing as we probably pulled about 50-ish heists, that would mean about 50 successes.
Jessie: Huh, that’s 50-ish more than we’ve had since we started chasing Pikachu. Think that means something?
Meowth and James: Nah.
James: Surely that’s just a coincidence.
Meowth: On to the next question! Chaos Project asks, “Man, Mario Bros. and Sonic the Hedgehog? Team Rocket really seems to know their stuff when it comes to movies. Makes me wonder what else they know about. Hey Team Rocket, who’s each of your favorite villain or villainous group in all of fiction? The Pokémon world excluded, of course.”
James: I already explained earlier how Star Wars was my favorite movie, so of course I have to say the Galactic Empire, specifically Darth Vader, is my favorite. What Star Wars fan wouldn’t say that?
Meowth: As for myself, I think my favorite would be Vito Corleone from the Godfather. You know, the mob boss with a cat. For some reason, he sounds really familiar to me, but I can’t place why.
Jessie: I would say Cruella De Vil, but does she even count as a villain? All she wanted was to be gorgeous. Can’t blame a girl for that. She was pretty ugly herself, but it’s the thought that counts.
Jessie: SonicInfinity says, “Hey, Team Reject! Look who’s here to see you! “Bewear!””
James and Meowth: Off with a new blast!
Meowth: Hey, there’s no Bewear here! That’s a nasty trick!
James: *Shivers* Keep Bewear out of this.
Meowth: Moving on, SonicInfinity now has a real question. “You know, Jessie, you were pretty good when it came to Pokémon Coordinating and Showcases. I’ll admit, you’ve surprised me by winning some of those. So I ask you, did you ever think of just dedicating yourself to that? And you may say, “Oh, I didn’t achieve the whole thing,” but neither did May, Dawn, or Serena (or twerpettes if you prefer?) , and they aren’t giving up, so why are you?”
Jessie: Who says a I gave it up? Perhaps I’m still in contests to this very day, only in disguise. You would never know it was me. I’ll tell you one thing, Jessie never gives up. However, in the end, I go were the Twerp’s Pikachu goes. And since there are no Showcases in Alola or Tenno, I had to put a hold on that part of my life.
James: Alright, here’s another SonicInfinity question. “Also, I gotta ask, even if you do catch Pikachu (which you never will B.T.Dubs), what makes you think it would ever work for you? I’m pretty sure after all these years it kinda despises each and every one of you.”
Jessie: *Cackles at the notion* You assume that Team Rocket plans that ahead. Ha! How cute.
Meowth: She’s right, Team Rocket’s biggest advantage is the fact that we plan as we go! It makes us unpredictable!
James: So, to answer your question, we haven’t gotten to that part of the plan yet. When we inevitably do, we’ll figure things out when we get there.
Meowth: Alright, here’s another question from BTH777. They asked, “Mewtwo got me thinking, do you guys play Smash Bros? If you do, what characters are your mains? Are there any certain ways you like to play?”
James: Of course we play Smash Bros!
Jessie: Who doesn’t?
Meowth: *Clears throat* I don’t.
Jessie and James: Why?
Meowth: Plain and simple. In twenty years of this series, not once has Meowth been playable. Thanks to all my hard work, Meowth is the Pokémon to appear in the show the most times behind only Pikachu. You’d think a Pokémon that appears that often would get in way before the randos like Jigglypuff, Greninja, or Inciniroar. It’s an insult to Meowth everywhere for Meowth to be relegated to being nothing but a Pokéball Pokémon.
James: To be fair, I think that Meowth is only a Pokéball Pokémon in first place because of you.
Meowth: And I deserve so much more!
Jessie: Well, as for us regular people, I only play as Zelda, Peach, and Daisy. A princess like myself shouldn’t have to demean herself by playing anything of a lower social status. It’s unfortunate and somewhat demeaning that none of them are as gorgeous as I.
James: As for me, I play as Mewtwo.
Meowth: Why’s that?
James: To tell the truth, I’m a bit of a Mewtwo fanboy…
James: Anyways, as for how we like to play, there is this one special mode that Jessie and I always play. We do an eight-player Smash with her and I on a team against a team of six CPU level 1 Pikachu with a 300% handicap for five minutes. We call the mode Capture the Pikachu. It’s quite therapeutic.
Jessie: Next question! Oh dear…
Meowth: What is it?
Jessie: It would seem that our next question is for Mewtwo…
Meowth: Oh yeah… I might have promised that they could ask him questions… to show off… I didn’t think anyone actually would…
James: *Excitedly* Mewtwo? Really? Can we get him here?
Meowth: I don’t think so…
Mewtwo: I heard my name.
Jessie and Meowth: *Jumps in fear* Aaaahhhh!
James: *Squeals in excitement* Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: Just ask me the question so I can get on with my life.
Jessie: … … … Yeah… let’s do that… um… the question comes from OshawottKing. He asks, “So, Mewtwo, Everyone’s been asking about Team Rocket favorites, but what about you? What’s your favorite episode and/or movie that you didn’t star in? And seriously, why did you agree to come here?”
Mewtwo: Easy, Genesect and the Legend Awakened. It may have not been me, but at least there was a Mewtwo in that movie. This was made better by the lack of Mew. As for why I attended the award show, it’s the same reason I’m here now. I had nothing better to do with my time, and the reaction I give to humans amuses me. *Turns to face Team Rocket* Boo.
Jessie and Meowth: Aaaaaahhhhh!
Jessie: Okay… Mr. Mewtwo… we have one more question for you… OshawottKing also wants to know, “Ooh, let’s get Mewtwo in on this question as well [The Smash Bros one]. Do you main yourself? Actually, no… You strike me more as a Pichu main. Just a feeling. Did I guess it?”
Mewtwo: *Angered Voice* You insolent fool! You dare suggest that I, Mewtwo, would play as such a pathetic creature as Pichu!? No. I play as the only character worthy of my power, myself.
James: Yeah! Mewtwo mains! High five!
Mewtwo: *Stares intimidatingly*
James: …or not…
Mewtwo: I’ve had enough of this. *Vanishes*
Jessie and Meowth: *Breathes sigh of relief*
James: I can’t believe I was so close to Mewtwo! Dang it! I forgot to ask for his autograph again! Oh well, on to the next question. Here’s one from Dragonking, who asks, “Come to think of it, how is that you guys managed to travel from the Pokémon world to the real world two years in a row on the exact same date?”
Meowth: Great question! There’s a long answer and there’s a short answer, but seeing as the long answer would require you to have a degree in the Grand Unified Theory of Physics, we’re going to have to go with the short version.
James: Basically, it’s on this day that special celestial alignment causes a gravitational vortex in the space-time continuum. The vortex tears open a hole between our world and your world, allowing us to freely travel back and forth.
Jessie: Are you sure that’s the short version?
Meowth: If it were the long version, your head probably would have exploded by now.
Jessie: Whatever. Let’s just do the next question. User Zyx asks, “With Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee now out, how does it feel to finally be in a main series Pokémon game?”
James: You say that like we’ve never been in a game before. I’ll remind you that we there from the very beginning! We were in Yellow Version!
Jessie: Yeah, everyone claims us to be “non-canon,” but we’ve been “canon” since one of the very first games. Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee only further solidifies our position.
Meowth: Unfortunately, they wouldn’t allow me speak in either of those games. I don’t know what they possibly could have been thinking when they made that decision. Who doesn’t want to see a talking Meowth?
James: Hey, this bag of questions is getting pretty empty. We’re almost done! Here’s yet another from SonicInfinity. That guy certainly is active. It says, “So, Team Reject, I dare you each to say one positive thing about Ash and all the other “twerps” and “twerpettes” you’ve encountered over all this time.”
Meowth: Not much of a question, is it?
Jessie: Not at all.
James: And you know what, we’re the ones in power here. You have to prove yourselves to us, not the other way around. Besides, even if we did take the dare, anything we said would be a lie, so it’s pointless. We’re skipping this one.
Jessie and Meowth: Agreed.
Meowth: Well, here’s another one from SonicInfinity, but it seems to be just a piece of his fan fiction. No questions again.
Jessie and James: Toss it.
Meowth: In that case, this brings us to our final question, and it’s one for Wobbuffet.
Jessie: Wobbuffet? Why?
Meowth: Okay, Wobbuffet. ygbu asks, “Wobbuffet, last year you told me the secrets to happiness. Do you also know the secrets to life itself?”
Jessie: *Chuckles* As if.
Wobbuffet: Wobbuffet! Wobba wobba! Wobbuffet wobba! Wobbuffet wobbuffet wobbuffet! Wobba! Wobba! Wobba wobbuffet! Wobbuffet!
Jessie, James, and Meowth: … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Meowth: No way…
James: It’s impossible…
Jessie: Did it just…?
Meowth: Everything makes so much more sense now.
James: Life has a new meaning.
Jessie: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re brilliant, Wobbuffet!
James: Well, there’s no way anyone can top that, so I guess we should just end things here…
Meowth: But don’t think we’re done yet, there’s still more Team Rocket Takeover goodness to come.
Jessie: So this is Team Rocket, signing out. See you!